I love the "self-checkout" counters that are popping up at so many stores lately. Okay, that's not true - most of them. Sorry Save-On Foods but I would rather have an ingrown toe nail removed than use those puppies. And yes, I have had one removed. Extricated might be a better term. And yes it was completely disgusting. Puss and blood and fluids you have never witnessed exit your toe. I kid you not, the needle is about the size of an ice pick, and it feels just a wee bit less painful than slamming each of your fingers in the car door. You soon realize why it was necessary for the curtain to be put up to make it impossible for you to witness the procedure when the physician hammers the needle into the base of your toe so far that it makes contact with the bone. Awesome memory. Anyway, I am certain Save On had their system designed by Podiatrists (that is the official name for toe torturer's). If you even look at the scale wrong, it goes into lock down mode. Never mind if your kid happens to sneeze on it (thank you Megan). On top of that, when lock down mode is engaged, and it will friends it will, you beget a visit from the attendant who has to scan their special card, enter four passwords, and then frisk you just in case you were trying to harbour some asparagus in your socks. Unreal.
At the other very cool self-check outs I have been to, I play a little game. Maybe it's because I laugh at silly things or get bad cramps when I have to spend money, or maybe it's just that I like little games. I talk back to the machines. The nice computer girl is always making comments, telling you about discounts, asking hoe many bags you want, all sorts of great questions. So I politely carry on the conversation. Like today when I was at Home Depot. After completing the transaction, the nice computer girl said, "Thank you for shopping at Home Depot." To which I replied, "You are very welcome. And I hope you have a great day."
In case you were wondering, yes I do say a few different things to the Save-On Foods Self Check Out computer FBI.
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