Oh the mall

Went to the mall.

It was me and the girls power shopping.  Now when you are with a 9 year old (and yes I must footnote that Megan did indeed let me know that I mind as well say '10' because she is '10' in less than 30 days and therefore basically '10') and a 5 year old, serious shopping involves the following:

"Dad, we are totally starving."
3 minutes in and apparently we hit a wall of starvation.  Incredible.  And against all my instincts, values and sense of manhood I digressed to the whims of my girls and spent way too much money on one little bag of this.  I am still bitter.

"Dad, I have a gift card for jewelry."
Sigh.  I am convinced that my 9, er. 10 year old will never grasp the concept that gift cards are not an eternal fountain of money.   I pray for her husband.

"Daddy, let's go here but we'll just look.  I know, I know we are not buying any unless they are a super good deal and really cute. "
They should rename the store "Paylessmoretimes"

"Daddy my legs hurt so much.  Hey, ice cream!"
I have no explanation either.

"Dad!  Dad!  I have to pee right now!  I'm shaking."
Stunning since 3 minutes previous we passed a washroom and unless I am going insane (which I must admit is quite possible) I remember stating the phrase "Does anyone have to piddle cause we are right by the washroom and I don't want to pass the lovely opportunity up as I am quite certain that if we don't, in three minutes someone is going to wet their pants."

"Dad I totally need some makeup to look beautiful."
I know.  That's when the whole 'beauty comes from the inside' talk unleashes again but slightly difficult to contextualize as I had just finished trying on some skinny jeans.   Having the entire store gasp was not as bad as hearing your daughter say "wow."

"Daddy, everyone I know already has a shirt from this store and it just opened.  Like we never get stuff first."
Yes, I do it on purpose to torture my children.  Actually now I just say, "Honey your dad doesn't have a job."  Works pretty good until Megan chirps in, "Wendy's is hiring."

"Daddy both of us cannot feel our arms or legs we are so hungry."
I couldn't feel my legs either but I wasn't complaining.  It's like impossible to peel those skinny jeans off.

To end off an incredibly relaxing trip to the mall I decided to pop into one store.  They were having a sale and thought hey, maybe I could find a little something something.  No sooner did I enter the store, Caedyn disappears.  Gone.  Not hiding in the racks.  Not in the kids section.  I didn't hear anyone singing Beyonce.  Nothing.  I am calling, no answer.  Not completely at the edge of panic, I launch into an in-store scan from one end to the other and just as I am heading to a store employee, the corner of my eye catches something...

To this day.  I have no clue about the salute.

Just another day in the life...