Naughty or Nice

Earlier today I asked my daughter Caedyn if she had been "naughty" or "nice" this past year with the perspective of her hoping to illicit the benefits of a positive relationship with Santa.  She replied like so:

"Umm, not so nice."

"What does that mean Caedyn?"

"Well, I would say I have been naughty."

"Really.  And how have you been naughty this past year?"

"I say bad words pretty much everyday."

Instantaneously I have a flashback to a few months ago when I had to dive for cover as the f-bombs were flying out of her mouth faster than when... well, when you are in a store, oh, let's just say, The Real Canadian Superstore for example, and you are minding your own business walking each incredibly freaking long aisle, and you turn the corner to go down the next huge aisle of despair, and yep, you run straight into... fart.

Thick fart air.

Completely disgusting.  The problem is you are so intent on getting that huge jar of pickles for cheap (sorry, that is if you buy 6 of them with purple labels before 4:00pm with your left hand on odd days of the week) that you can't avoid it.  And no matter how fast you sprint out of the aisle it somehow follows you and the odor attaches itself to your hair.  So every like 3 minutes you whip around, trying to figure out where that wretched smell of hot foot mixed with sweaty bum is coming from.   Brutal.  And it's always left by some dude where jogging pants.  I have no clue what the correlation is there but it is not pretty.

Anyway it's that fast, even if speed is not mentioned in that story.

Needless to say my interest was tweaked with my daughters apparent analysis that she is naughty.  "Caedyn, what bad words do you say?"

"Well, dad, I say 'hate' and 'stupid' all the time."

"Wow, honey, why would you say those things all the time?"

"Cause things are stupid."

This is where parenting gets a little tricky.   Cause all I am thinking is, I know who is stupid.  Dude who dropped a bomb in Pooperstore.  He is completely stupid.  Alas I do not say this, instead I say what any good parent would, "Well, Santa keeps the list and he pretty much knows who is naughty and who is nice and gives presents accordingly."

Apparently that was not the right thing to say because we now have a 5 year old bawling her eyes out.

Lovely.

So I grab Caedyn, give her a hug, and tell her that mom say's those words all the time and that Santa would really like her to finish her spaghetti.

My parenting tips are free.